Kenny's Letter From The Other Side
by DiscombobulatedCanadian
Summary: Anyone and everyone who has heard of South Park knows about Kenny and his never ending deaths. Well he's sick of it. He's been sick of it. So from his place on the Other Side he has written a quick and chipper letter to all of his friends and family.
1. Kenny's Letter

**I have no Idea where this came from. I latterly woke up 20 minutes ago and just typed it out – because I could. Maybe because I feel bad for Kenny, that poor little boy ... it seems like he can't go a season without dying at **_**least**_ **seven times XD.**

**x.X.x.K.x.X.x**

A Letter from Kenny (In Death)

Hello, everyone. It's Kenny, from South Park, Colorado. I just wanted to say fuck you. Yes. Fuck you. Fuck each and every one of you.

Fuck my mom and dad because you two white trash penny-lickers put me into a life of poverty and every time I get a chance of reincarnation I always end up with you two fucks.

Fuck my brother. I don't really have a reason why ... you were kind of just there and because of that dinner was always devided between four people and not three - which meant less to eat for me ... Nevermind, I hate you, too.

Fuck Eric you fucking fat ass pig bitch, you are not _big boned_ – you're _**FAT**_ and your mother is a man.

Fuck Kyle and Stan for being the supposed Mother Mary's of our four-person party, yet never helping me out anytime I had even the slightest chance of living – fuck you two. I hope one of you dies just so when I come back one week from now I can shove food up your ass and watch you shit through your mouth and your ass while I kick dirt in your face and laugh. You guys are bastards. You suck.

Fuck Butters. I never liked you. You're clearly gay for Cartman and he's clearly gay for you – oh, right! I guess nobody ever told you this but that time you slept over Eric's house he stuck his penis in your mouth, and if you didn't already know he also stuck his WHAT WHAT in your BUTT.

And finally, fuck everyone else in South Park – except Barbra Streisand because that woman tried to do what I've always wanted to: destroy you. The only thing that kept and keeps me from destroying you all is the fact that I was warned that murdering a fellow Flesh and Blood would mean an inevitable ticket to the fiery gates of Hell for me. And I am not having sex with crab infested she-whores like Satan.

So yeah ... I hope you get this.

Sincerely,

Kenny

PS. I get more pussy here than Cartman's mom. See ya'll next week.

**x.X.x.K.x.X.x**

**Thanks for reading! I'm probably going to have to do chores from this point on so yeah ... best part of my morning ... woo (so much sarcasm in that you is bleeding out of my fingernails). **

**Comments are highly appreciated, eh! So don't hesitate.**


	2. Eric's Letter REPLY

To Kenny

Fuck you, Kenny! You're just mad because you're poor and all your family got for Thanksgiving was a can of green peas! I am not fat I am _**big boned**_ and my mother is not my father! I don't care what anyone in South Park says! So fuck you! I should be the next one to kill you! I should chop you up like Pube Kid's parents and serve you to your family as a bowl of piping hot chilli! And another thing, Kenny! I am not gay! I never knew okay? It was Butter's idea at first … he just didn't know it was his idea. I used to think you were cool but now you're just as bad a Kyle – from now on you're a Jew, Kenny. A Jersey Jew! And I am your Hitler! Wait until you come back, I'm going to shun you like cleanliness shuns your family! So Fuck you, Kenny! F-U-C-K you!

From E. Cartman

Don't think being a blonde is any sort of benefit to you. You still smell like man-bear-pig!

**x.X.x.E.x.X.x**

**Oh, my gosh~ I got to write this with Windows 2010! 2010! It was great! Anyways, I have to thank number4lover660 for giving me the idea to write a series of reply letters to Kenny's pissed off letter. And of course one has to keep in mind that no South Park character ever remembers Kenny dies once he's dead. In fact, he just kind of comes back and they never care, because they never notice. **

**Oh and if you have not noticed everything is clumped together in Cartman's letter … it's like that on purpose so yeah, I didn't leave it like that incidentally.**

**He also didn't add the PS in his end note. :P**


End file.
